My husband is gone and today was the longest day ever!!! I dont' remember crying so much in my whole life. Early this morning while in bed I was tossing and turning trying to get comfortable and I remembered that this is the day that my husband is leaving for Wyoming. So instead of get up like I usually do when I can't sleep. I cuddled into my hubby and savored every moment that I had left with him. But of course, I start crying and end up waking him up with my tears. I enjoyed every moment I had cuddling and crying. We didn't do much talking because we were both crying so much. But I stayed in bed longer than I usually do.
I know the more he goes and comes home it will be alot easier, the first time is always the hardest. My eyes feel like there is sand in them, from crying so much. We went to Sacrament meeting and then came home so that Bryan could give all of us blessings before he left. It was a very touching moment for our whole family. We just all had a good cry and Bryan poured out his heart to the kids and let them know that he didn't want to leave them, but with the economy the way it is, we have to do something or we will loose our home. I know that our family has something to learn from this experience and that it will only make us stronger and closer. Sydnee is having the hardest time of all, she came home tonight and curled up on the couch and cried, "I just want my Daddy back!!! I don't care if we are poor." She is such a sweet little girl. In my blessing I told Bryan to please bless me with strength to be able to go through this and care for our family. I didn't realize how dependant I am on him. I took him for granted and all he did and continues to do for me. I love him so much, I am not looking forward to trying to go to sleep tonight, we will see how it goes. But my children are being so wonderful and giving me tons of hugs when they see me sitting there and just crying. I know that it will get easier as time goes by.
Cambria took pictures of me saying goodbye to him, but I am not posting them. Have you heard of the "UGLY CRY" from Oprah? Well that would've taken the cake.
3 comments:
it is so so hard i know. Marc did that for a while a couple years ago, so i know the cry and cry and cry part. i know you are strong and will make it but my heart feels for you and your kids! hopefully it will change sooner than later!
Gee....sister i bawled like a baby when i read this!!!!! you are an amazing woman and such a great example to me! i hope one day i can be at least half the mother you are!!! i love you and if you need anything at all or even just some "MAJOR" cuddling...lol just let me know! we love you sis
I am so sorry you guys have to go through this. You are one of the strongest people I know. If you ever need anything let me know. Love ya
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