Friday, December 14, 2012

Mommy Melt Down

Today it's gloomy, wet, rainy and dark and I feel like it is affecting my mood. I am so emotional today that I can't seem to get a grip on my emotions. This morning Bryan came back to bed and I heard him sniffling. I asked him if everything was OK and he said, "I went to get a drink of water and passed the couch and it hit me that Cambria wasn't asleep on it and won't be anymore, so I LOST IT!!!" (Mind you Cambria has always shared a room with Cecilee, but since Cecilee left for college, she didn't want to go upstairs and sleep by herself, so she chose to sleep on the couch all of these months). Of course both of us started sniffling and boobing again in bed. I heard Bryan get up for work and heard his prayer before he left and heard him pray for his daughter and Jeff and ask to please protect them as they travel to Hawaii today. I heard a crack in his voice and him ask for strength during this transition. I guess, I just haven't been able to get over it. I know he is having just as hard of a time adjusting as I am. I know this is a good thing for her to marry the man of her dreams, in the place of her dreams-The Temple and that we know she is going to be well taken care of. It's just the separation anxiety and cutting those apron strings. I love her so much and she has brought so much joy into our lives that we will miss her living in our home, but it's time to let her start her own family and decorate her own house and make it a home. I have been given a lot of great advise by those who have been through this stage and I appreciate it. I will get stronger and stronger as the days go on. I just have to keep praying to my Heavenly Father for strength.

1 comment:

Amy said...

Hang in there Tonya! It really does get easier!! It was actually toughest for me when Lex moved away for college. When she got married I was so excited that not only was she getting married to an amazing guy, but that she would always have someone watching out for her, loving her, and making sure she got home safe (one of my biggest worries when she was at college!). It was a relief to me when she got married. But those first couple weeks after she left for college?? LOTS of tears, tissue, and I'm pretty sure...chocolate. Prayers are with you. I remind myself that I didn't want to live with my parents forever ;) The transition is TOUGH but the blessings of a growing family will soon outweigh it!! Hang in there!!! And the cloudy, wet, dreary days certainly don't help at all!!